Routines That Actually Work: Gentle Habits for Midlife Women
I don’t know about you, but I am so tired of hearing about habits — especially for women in midlife. Some days it feels like we barely have the time, energy, or bandwidth to keep ourselves together, let alone add another “must-do” into the mix. Most of us are just craving a sense of connection, a bit of flow, and the chance to actually live instead of just exist.
Trying new habits in your twenties or thirties had a certain thrill — at least for a little while. But without extreme discipline, most of them quietly faded away. Now, the midst of perimenopause or menopause, brings a wave of the image that other women are gliding effortlessly through routines like they’ve discovered some secret superpower. Meanwhile, the rest of us feel like we’re wading through treacle, wondering if we’ll ever find the energy or consistency to stick to anything.
Here’s the truth: creating routines isn’t about willpower or being “good” at something. It’s about starting small, removing barriers, and crafting habits that actually fit your life — your energy, your rhythm, and your personality.
Midlife women, self care in the bath, morning ritual
Why Some Routines Stick in perimenopause and Others Don’t
Let’s be real — we’ve all tried starting a new midlife routine, felt motivated for a few days (or weeks), and then… life happened hormones work, family, appointments, stress, and that relentless inner critic all conspire to make it feel impossible.
The routines that stick in perimenopause share a few key ingredients:
1. Keep it simple
Your first step shouldn’t feel like climbing a mountain. Small, achievable actions create momentum. remember that 1% shift Want to start moving more? Ten minutes of stretching or a short walk counts. One tiny, consistent step beats grand gestures that burn you out.
2. Remove barriers
Think about what could stop you. Gym too far? Create a mini workout space at home. Meditation? Find a quiet corner or block five minutes in your diary. Lay out clothes, prep your journal, make it so easy that starting doesn’t require heroic effort.
3. Track your progress
Tiny wins deserve massive recognition. Write it down, check it off, or celebrate quietly. Noticing that you did a five-minute meditation yesterday and today builds a sense of momentum. It’s not about competition; stop trying to be perfect, it’s about acknowledging that you can do this, you are ready to feel like yourself again.
Routines as Self-Care, Not Chores
Here’s something I have come to learn the hard way and I want you to remember: routines, especially in perimenopause, are a form of self-care. It is not another way of piling on pressure to do another thing or be instagram perfect and it isn’t just checking the “things you should do” boxes. They’re about nurturing yourself, getting and staying connected to you, building rituals that feel true and effortlessly bring even a small hint of joy.
Here are some ideas to inspire your own 1% shift to creating rituals but you can think outside the box here, implement 1 no matter how small, remember the 1% changes fuel the bigger impact you are craving in your life:
Morning rituals:
Gentle yoga or stretching
Meditation or mindful breathing
Journaling or intention-setting
A nourishing breakfast
A short walk outside
Evening rituals:
Body brushing or skincare
A warm bath
Reading
Gratitude journaling
Self-reflection
Turning tech off by 9 pm
Anytime rituals:
Short mindful pauses or deep breaths
Dancing, drawing, or writing
Learning something new
Quick workouts or walks
Creative expression
The point is simple: choose what feels good and doable. If it fills you with dread, don’t do it, swap it out for something that sparks curiosity or joy. Life’s too short to add more stress.
Woman taking a breath before a busy day
Midlife-Friendly Routines
Building daily habits may seem like a real basic beginner thing to do, you probably feel like you’ve done this 1000 times before and it doesn’t work anymore, the thing is to tackle this stuff with a beginner mind, look at it with fresh eyes and allow yourself to start from the start:
Mindful breathing
Three deep breaths, down to your belly, at different points during the day can calm your nervous system, reduce mental noise, and reset your focus. To take it even more basic, just be aware of how you’re breathing now, in this moment.
AI, assist; Let your AI tool know who you are and what your lifestyle is like, ask it how you can use mindful breathing to keep calm, relax, settle anxiety, whatever it is, let it help guide you deeper without adding more to your mental load.
Set a daily intention
Ask yourself: How do I want to feel today? How will I respond to stress? Jot it in a journal, say it aloud, or just hold it in your mind. This honestly feels a bit silly when you start but really you do notice a difference at how your day pans out when you give this one a little attention.
AI assist ; Reflect on how you felt during a day and what you want the next day to feel like, ask your AI tool to help you set a realistic intention for the next day that you can act upon easily.
Mantras
A short, meaningful phrase can help you stay aligned with your intentions. Example: “I choose calm, curiosity, and connection today.” Keep it relevant and personal.
AI assist ; Take this deeper by aligning your mantra to your previously assessed intention to pack a real punch.
Journaling
Even five minutes of reflection, gratitude, or self-check-in can help you notice patterns, small wins, and insights you might otherwise miss.
AI assist; Take this deeper by asking your aI tool to give you 3-5 journaling prompts that align with your current lifestyle, keeping them easy to understand and answer but giving you the most personal insight.
Remember the goal is to feel more like yourself again, AI is a tool to help you enhance this personal connection not replace it.
Building Your 1% shift Without Overwhelm
The biggest mistake we make and I do mean we because I have done it time and time again, is that we take on too much, too many things all at the same time, we listen to too many people across the internet telling us to shake up all aspects of our lives, its overwhelming and massively unsustainable.
I invite you to start small, the smallest, with a 1% shift in one area of your life. You don’t need to meditate, exercise, journal, and sip a mindful coffee all before breakfast.
Here’s how to set yourself up for success:
Schedule it: put your routine in your diary and try to treat it as non-negotiable, but don’t be precious here, you do not have to be perfect just 1% better than the day before.
Pick your sweet spot: when are you least likely to be distracted? Morning, after school drop-off, or just before bed? There is absolutely no point in choosing a night routine as your shift if you are busy or too tired to care about rituals by that time of day.
Check in with yourself: Is this too much, does it feel like a strain or like its getting you closer to yourself? If you need to, tweak it until it feels good at the very least better than it did.
Once your chosen 1% shift starts to feel natural, you can gradually add more if you want to. Momentum grows from consistency, not intensity, but don’t pile on more pressure, learn to let go a little and ride the flow.
Self care essentials
Three Daily Habits That Can Transform Your Life
To summarise for those of us (yes I confess to be one at times) who skim the content and want a highlight reel at the end.
1. Commit to yourself
Even a tiny habit counts. Make a promise to yourself — and keep it. Consistency is everything.
2. Set an intention
Begin each day with clarity: journaling, visualisation, or a simple statement like, “Today I choose to take care of myself and move toward balance and joy.”
3. Take action
Plans without action are just ideas. Move, reflect, breathe, write — even a small step is progress.
Routines are like seeds. Give them the right conditions, water them with gentle consistency, and over time they grow into habits that nurture your mind, body, and spirit. The best routines fit your life, honour your energy, and spark joy — not stress.
I’m so glad you joined me today. What 1% shift are you starting? Download the free flow forward starter guide to know exactly where to start. I’d love to hear. Drop me a note at hello@rightalonsideyou.co.uk and share your wins, big or small.
Until next time,
Amber x